Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she told me i tasted like america
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize