how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
