god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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