Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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