Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
