just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
