yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I can't put those talents on a resume
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
