i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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