the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
