Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
