yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
