so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
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