That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
