you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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