3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
