I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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