Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
