Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize