i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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