Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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