Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
