Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
