I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I faked an abortion last night.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
it was like eating out sand paper
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
