OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
