Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize