I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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