My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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