Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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