Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
