Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
this boner is exhausting
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
