Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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