my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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