Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
