ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
