Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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