your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
