I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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