Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Non-Jews are for practice
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
