yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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