A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
