If that was your dad, he is hot
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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