I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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