I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
