don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
BRING THE BAGELS
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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