you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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