she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dignity is for republicans.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize