This girl is more easily done than said...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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