u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
