i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
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