Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
