Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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