you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
