I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
