Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
