How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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