I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
