so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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