I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize