My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
