I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize
