I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
