I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
