i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
birth control should be required to get into college
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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