I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
