Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
