Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
