Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
