Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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