I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
