btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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